Friday, September 7, 2007
I hate when people call me "EMO"
I am finally here. I am finally living my dream. I'm in art school. I am surrounded by creative people for the first time in my life. I AM LIVING MY DREAM AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT FROM ME. A regrettable situation slept in my bed last night. I woke up confused and frustrated with myself. Soon, I realized that it doesn't matter. Regret is a part of life. It's a part of living and learning. It will all level out. I am constantly growing, changing, and fucking up. For some reason I had this vision that once I got to here it would be smooth sailing. Then I asked myself, "If it were smooth sailing would it really be worth it?" Fuck no! If I didn't have to kick myself in the ass then there would be no feeling. If I didn't cry I couldn't enjoy being here. I realized that the question I was asking myself, "If I'm not happy at art school where will I be," was a ridiculous thing to ask myself because the only thing that can make you happy it being unhappy. By this I mean that without the contrast there would be nothing. HAPPINESS and UNHAPPINESS would blur into the same thing. The contrast is what I live for. I AM LIVING MY DREAM AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT FROM ME.
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6 comments:
Amanda,
Great first post. Contrast. Contrast. Contrast. Even there. And think of the weird and not so weird places that contrast manifests itself...
And speaking of being called "Emo": Once when I was walking down Telegraph Ave. in Berkeley, CA these kids on the street said to me, "Hey, Weezer-lookin' dude, give us some money."
I think it's ridiculous that anyone would call anyone else "emo." Emo is short for emotional, right? Everyone is at least a little emotional, whether they're happy or sad. It's emotion. And if you aren't somewhat emotional, you're dead in a way.
I really like this blog though. It's almost exactly what has been going through my head for the past few weeks, and you said it so well.
A regrettable situation slept in my bed last night---
i dig that line. i keep repeating it in my head
The concept of Happiness is so sugared over, as though it is this place you could just walk into.
Puppies and rainbows and what not.
UnHappines can be just as important of a place to have to be sometimes.
It makes you appreciate and evaluate what actually DOES make you happy, what YOU want, what YOU will do about it.
Have you seen the movie Happiness by Todd Solondz?
Whoa.
I love that movie.
A regrettable situation slept in my bed last night.
OH! MY NEW FAVORITE QUOTE. a regrettable situation.. wow. that sentence seems so deep but so simple. mmm i love it.
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