I decided to stay because...
I love Cincinnati more than I thought
I realized saving money doesn't save happiness
I want to be an artist
I can do art therapy in grad school
It was too much work leaving
I had a nervous break down that caused me to reevaluate everything
I do love art
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
THE TRUTH HAS COME!
I am staying....I am staying at the Art Academy of Cincinnati for the time being. So I will now take all questions and comments starting now. My next blog will be based off those questions and comments. All I can say is I don't know what to say.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Premature Cynicism
And so these thoughts tear holes in my youth.
I trusted HIM
I wanted HIM
I saw HIM
I felt HIM
I used to believe in HIM
Now he has left me and I am left here cynical and betrayed
The world is made up of nothing that is everything to us.
EVERYTHING IS NOTHING
NOTHING IS EVERYTHING
We seek marriage to find someone who is the closest to what we are. We hold them close for comfort from the world. A blanket for an infant. We never outgrow infancy; we only gain vocabulary and excuses. So to love is for one's benefit of being saved.
We chose not to think in order to avoid being scared. For if anyone were to think of what she should she would constantly be watching her back. Paranoia would take over and result in her death.
I may not have a big vocabulary, but I know how to think.
It's just life and death and what we put in between.
No matter what we make of ourselves we will all die.
So how them must we make our lives meaningful?
Life is just made up of a series of moments that cause us to react.
It is in those reactions that we feel the need to make things matter.
The truth is nothing matters.
People are not continuing to get smarter.
Education solves nothing.
History has only "progressed" in technological advances.
Those advances merely train us not to think.
They make us more numb so we no longer see that we are still corrupt.
And who is to say what is corrupt?
Why is order the "right" choice?
It could be that order is easier, but to classify things into right and wrong is not practical.
It is merely a matter of convenience
These words don't matter. Education doesn't matter. But I guess with a cynic also comes a hypocrite because I still care.
I trusted HIM
I wanted HIM
I saw HIM
I felt HIM
I used to believe in HIM
Now he has left me and I am left here cynical and betrayed
The world is made up of nothing that is everything to us.
EVERYTHING IS NOTHING
NOTHING IS EVERYTHING
We seek marriage to find someone who is the closest to what we are. We hold them close for comfort from the world. A blanket for an infant. We never outgrow infancy; we only gain vocabulary and excuses. So to love is for one's benefit of being saved.
We chose not to think in order to avoid being scared. For if anyone were to think of what she should she would constantly be watching her back. Paranoia would take over and result in her death.
I may not have a big vocabulary, but I know how to think.
It's just life and death and what we put in between.
No matter what we make of ourselves we will all die.
So how them must we make our lives meaningful?
Life is just made up of a series of moments that cause us to react.
It is in those reactions that we feel the need to make things matter.
The truth is nothing matters.
People are not continuing to get smarter.
Education solves nothing.
History has only "progressed" in technological advances.
Those advances merely train us not to think.
They make us more numb so we no longer see that we are still corrupt.
And who is to say what is corrupt?
Why is order the "right" choice?
It could be that order is easier, but to classify things into right and wrong is not practical.
It is merely a matter of convenience
These words don't matter. Education doesn't matter. But I guess with a cynic also comes a hypocrite because I still care.
Cento cento and away!
AND WITH A SHOUT COATHANGERS FALL revised
NEAR THE SEA WHERE SACK CUT HER HAND ON A CAN stolen
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM ST PAUL stolen
BUT SHE JERKS AND SKIPS THE TABLE, THE MUSIC AND CREPE AND THE SHAKING BEGINS stolen
THE WORLD IS AT WAR WITH IMAGINATION revised
SHARPEN THE AX stolen
HAVE THE RAGES OF SMALL ANIMALS HAVE revised
BANISH YOUR THICK SON stolen
HERE THE MIDEL IS INDEED AT HAND revised
HERE THE SILK WORMS ARE HANGING revised
NEAR THE SEA WHERE SACK CUT HER HAND ON A CAN stolen
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM ST PAUL stolen
BUT SHE JERKS AND SKIPS THE TABLE, THE MUSIC AND CREPE AND THE SHAKING BEGINS stolen
THE WORLD IS AT WAR WITH IMAGINATION revised
SHARPEN THE AX stolen
HAVE THE RAGES OF SMALL ANIMALS HAVE revised
BANISH YOUR THICK SON stolen
HERE THE MIDEL IS INDEED AT HAND revised
HERE THE SILK WORMS ARE HANGING revised
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Where you long awaiting MY LIFE?
Bottomless Cup of Coffee
Mother told you not to touch the "poison oak". Christmas is red and red is bloody. "A loose screw is all it is," said the doctor. Poor sister took too many pills again and you screamed in hate. Love is too commonly mistaken for hate. I sat at the park by myself, watching the boy bounce the ball. Mother told me not to go. But I went. I went and sat cold, lonely, and no longer pure. You didn't mean to disappoint mother. The bottle cap tried its best to comfort you saying, "Your fantasy will come true." Write "Chicago" in the dirty mirror. I'm going to make it through this year if it kills me. This time she cut her wrist. Short of breath, more cigarettes. It's not Chicago but this will do. You could be such a pretty girl, but I refuse to take the metal out of my face. I like thumbtacks.
Mother told you not to touch the "poison oak". Christmas is red and red is bloody. "A loose screw is all it is," said the doctor. Poor sister took too many pills again and you screamed in hate. Love is too commonly mistaken for hate. I sat at the park by myself, watching the boy bounce the ball. Mother told me not to go. But I went. I went and sat cold, lonely, and no longer pure. You didn't mean to disappoint mother. The bottle cap tried its best to comfort you saying, "Your fantasy will come true." Write "Chicago" in the dirty mirror. I'm going to make it through this year if it kills me. This time she cut her wrist. Short of breath, more cigarettes. It's not Chicago but this will do. You could be such a pretty girl, but I refuse to take the metal out of my face. I like thumbtacks.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
This is the THRILL
I am sitting by a fire: drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes.
"And this girl on the computer," he said about me.
OK COMPUTER is playing in one ear and Hayden in my headphones.
The four of them are playing hearts.
I am writing about them and they don't know.
They think I am writing a paper.
I was until I feel like my brain is going to explode.
Honestly if they knew I was writing of them, most likely they'd lable me a creeper.
He is interesting. The reflection of the flames are dancing in his eyes.
I saw Wrist Cutters: a Love Story two nights ago and learned something:
It only happens when you don't care.
The problem is I DO care. I always care.
Im sick of writing
"And this girl on the computer," he said about me.
OK COMPUTER is playing in one ear and Hayden in my headphones.
The four of them are playing hearts.
I am writing about them and they don't know.
They think I am writing a paper.
I was until I feel like my brain is going to explode.
Honestly if they knew I was writing of them, most likely they'd lable me a creeper.
He is interesting. The reflection of the flames are dancing in his eyes.
I saw Wrist Cutters: a Love Story two nights ago and learned something:
It only happens when you don't care.
The problem is I DO care. I always care.
Im sick of writing
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
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