Domestic is for Dog

In a pondering thought of what it really means to be wild in Thoreau's idea I thought of myself as a woman. I decided that if a woman was to truly be wild she would be nothing that she is expected to be in our society. And as I decided in the shower, that I was not going to shave my legs because I didn't feel like it, I thought of so many things that women are supposed to do and be that inhibits them from wildness. I agree that in today's world things have gotten much better, but in the past-say the 1950's-things were much worse.
Things that women in American society are typically responsible for
-shaving (Women can't have facial hair, leg hair, arm pit hair, excessive arm hair, back hair...you know what I'm saying.)
-obedience to husband(cooking, cleaning, sweeping in pearls)
-being thin
-not getting pregnant when their not supposed to
-being graceful
-being the "damsel in distress"
-being weaker than men
-being extremely polite (no farting or burping)
-bearing children
I'm not really a feminist, but I do feel that it is more work for a woman to be wild. It might be due mostly to the socially accepted hygiene standards, but still.

Wild, Whiled

In reading the letter from Lope de Aguirre, my first thought was "What an asshole." I thought it interesting his sarcasm in repeating the king's title over and over again. King King King. He is throwing it in his face that he has the power to end the suffering that Aguirre is feeling. The use of religion as a weapon really bothered me as well. Now that I've thought of that, how about this? It bothers me (as it should everyone) that there have been so many wars and so many killings done in the name of religion. Now, I don't even know what I think anymore about "God", but I know that this is ridiculous. If there is a God I don't think that he would honor taking lives in his name when people can't even be sure that is what their "God" wants. So I'm throwing out the idea that far to many-a-war have been fought in the name of religion.

The Not-So-Practical Practicality of Henry David Thoreau

It is true that I sat openmouthed in awe of the vision of freedom and wildness Thoreau presented in "Walking", but I am also left wondering. The thought of ignoring all of the stresses of the modern day world and just living with my WILDNESS seems so freeing and also so lonely. I say lonely because it is also a natural human desire to organize. If I separate myself from my country, my womanhood, and my race it is true that I might feel free and wild, but there is also something to be said of the feeling of belonging. There is comfort in a community of people. There is comfort in organization. I am not lying astray the idea of breaking free, I just think there is a happy median-as with most everything-to what Thoreau is saying. However, being AWARE of our WILDNESS is a necessity I feel. So now I sit aware wide-eyed.

Truth Part 2

I decided to stay because...

I love Cincinnati more than I thought
I realized saving money doesn't save happiness
I want to be an artist
I can do art therapy in grad school
It was too much work leaving
I had a nervous break down that caused me to reevaluate everything
I do love art

THE TRUTH HAS COME!

I am staying....I am staying at the Art Academy of Cincinnati for the time being. So I will now take all questions and comments starting now. My next blog will be based off those questions and comments. All I can say is I don't know what to say.

Premature Cynicism

And so these thoughts tear holes in my youth.
I trusted HIM
I wanted HIM
I saw HIM
I felt HIM
I used to believe in HIM
Now he has left me and I am left here cynical and betrayed

The world is made up of nothing that is everything to us.
EVERYTHING IS NOTHING
NOTHING IS EVERYTHING

We seek marriage to find someone who is the closest to what we are. We hold them close for comfort from the world. A blanket for an infant. We never outgrow infancy; we only gain vocabulary and excuses. So to love is for one's benefit of being saved.

We chose not to think in order to avoid being scared. For if anyone were to think of what she should she would constantly be watching her back. Paranoia would take over and result in her death.

I may not have a big vocabulary, but I know how to think.
It's just life and death and what we put in between.
No matter what we make of ourselves we will all die.
So how them must we make our lives meaningful?
Life is just made up of a series of moments that cause us to react.
It is in those reactions that we feel the need to make things matter.
The truth is nothing matters.

People are not continuing to get smarter.
Education solves nothing.
History has only "progressed" in technological advances.
Those advances merely train us not to think.
They make us more numb so we no longer see that we are still corrupt.

And who is to say what is corrupt?
Why is order the "right" choice?
It could be that order is easier, but to classify things into right and wrong is not practical.
It is merely a matter of convenience

These words don't matter. Education doesn't matter. But I guess with a cynic also comes a hypocrite because I still care.

Cento cento and away!

AND WITH A SHOUT COATHANGERS FALL revised
NEAR THE SEA WHERE SACK CUT HER HAND ON A CAN stolen
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM ST PAUL stolen
BUT SHE JERKS AND SKIPS THE TABLE, THE MUSIC AND CREPE AND THE SHAKING BEGINS stolen
THE WORLD IS AT WAR WITH IMAGINATION revised
SHARPEN THE AX stolen
HAVE THE RAGES OF SMALL ANIMALS HAVE revised
BANISH YOUR THICK SON stolen
HERE THE MIDEL IS INDEED AT HAND revised
HERE THE SILK WORMS ARE HANGING revised