On Death and Grieving

It is interesting that we, as humans are ceased to be amazed and devastated by death. It is as if we have taught ourselves that we and the ones we love will never die. Perhaps, this inability to be unaffected by death is for survival. In order to function and allow ourselves to love and work with other people we cannot accept that they may die. From this we are able to build relationships perhaps stronger than those of other animals, but the pain that comes from the reality of death and that it is applicable to ourselves and loved ones seems unbearable.

The fact is, we all die. Every single person who has been born to this earth has or will face death. Every plant, every rock, every whale, mouse or alligator will someday meet its end. Even our own earth will die. If we know this, then why are we so effected? We are devastated, wrecked, left meaningless. It is merely impossible to truly understand that one day we may see someone and the next day, that person may never take a breath in front of us again. What about all of the people I have met once in my life on a bus or airplane or at the hardware store? Do they die when we never witness them again? Learning to loose becomes easier. Over time, we are able to adapt and be happy again.

(The person I lost only may have died. I may never know. She could be living on the beach in Mexico or at the bottom of a river in Ohio. This kind of pain remains an open wound. Can I heal without resolution? I don't think about her being gone any less now than I did the moment she left. The pain is maintainable but always present.)

There is a beauty in death that we often cannot recognize. There is peace in any end. Like the way a sentence ends or a movie or a beautiful day. There is pain, but with the pain there is resolution. One should not feel guilty for grieving, but eventually we've got to pick up our belongings and continue down the trail. All of life does not stop for one. It continues just as it always has. With memories and feelings we keep moving. Thank you.